ADVICE: A mother’s legacy


Mothers don’t realize when they’re raising their children the impact they have on their lives.

My mother died eight years ago. The longer she is gone, the more I miss her and the more I value everything she was.

As her daughter, I always felt my heart was safely in her hands. She loved me unconditionally.

She was my mom, my best friend, and the kind of wife and mother I strive to be.

It’s impossible for me to write or talk about her without tears running down my cheeks, but I blame her for this. I inherited her emotional side.

Her influence on my life has not diminished. Her loving words of advice guide me still, and her compassion and devotion to her family continues to be a source of inspiration for all of us.

There is not a time when our family is gathered that someone doesn’t bring her up in conversation. Abuela Mima was special. Her enduring warmth and her hugs made everything better.

My mom was very wise, and she always listened with her heart. She had a way of giving those she loved emotional stability.

She was the kind of person you would run to whenever you had a problem or when you received good news.

I had so many people call me after she passed to let me know how her advice had impacted their life.

Sweetness and kindness oozed out of my mother, and yet she was a strong woman. Her courage and positive attitude during her battle with cancer taught us how to face death. A lesson we didn’t want to learn, but one that we will never forget.

Mami was always happy and enthusiastic about life, and her positivity was contagious. Her reaction to most things was to laugh about it.

So much of how I am, I owe to her. She inspired my brother and me to be good people, and to always put our families first.

Like my mom, I believe that family is the core of all that matters. When your marriage and your children are doing well, everything else falls in place.

It has taken me a while to have peace with being a motherless mother, because I envisioned growing old with my mom.

Sometimes when running errands, we would see an older daughter and mother together, and I would always say to my mom, “That’s you a me someday.”

She would answer, “Si mi hijita tu y yo siempre juntas.”

Whenever I feel sad I remind myself of how upset she would be that I would spend Mother’s Day missing her, and not enjoying my children and grandchildren.

I am my mother’s daughter and nothing can ever break that bond. She is always with me and through me she continues to love our family.

Maria Luisa Salcines is a freelance writer, and certified parent educator with The International Network for Children and Families in Redirecting Children’s Behavior and Redirecting for a Cooperative Classroom. Follow her on Twitter @PowerOfFamily, on Instagram at mlsalcines or contact her on her blog